The Shame, the fear.
The doing so well, you think your have recovered, but then boom.
The darkness creeps back like a layer of gloom, illuminating my demons. Yesterday it was light. Is this just a learning curve /curse?
Trying to embrace that uncomfortable energy that radiates out my fingertips. This is where I would normally take the most drugs. The only way to not live another year like this is to dredge out every pain, every emotion, every darkness and relabel it with hope. Is this depression or unresolved feelings of trauma.
The pain of choosing myself over others is so unnatural to me. That guilt no wonder I have been sick. Time to self-care again today.
It’s a bad day night not a bad life, Ill try again tomorrow.
Let the shadow work begin.
Feeling it is healing it.
Remember healing isn’t overnight and we need to allow time to integrate the things we have learned. I would always try to avoid all my emotions and numb myself out. It was always too painful to actually let it surface. I would never let myself really feel what i was experiencing how could i ever move on from something if i was constantly running from it. I needed to look the pain of the past in the eye, give my self a hug and move past it. We shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves, I was never taught to deal with things or have healthy coping mechanisms.
For me resting is apart of the program and so is crying it out to release any built up feelings. Now when I have a massive episode that brings up the next level of emotion to resurface I know I’m about to have a massive breakthrough and hopefully go into self care mode to nurture myself instead of self destruction. Ways to emotionally release without having to go into breakdown mode would be:
- Journal out your feelings (writing letters to others and not sending them is a great way to get closure) I love burning them sending them back to the universe.
- Letting yourself have an ugly cry
- Scream out loud (into a pillow)
- Have a session with your therapist or chat it out with a friend (without putting it all on them)
- Psychically. running it out. I love to mow when I have anxiety. Dancing moves energy around and is a great way to release it.
- Put some of your music on that is relating to you at that moment. Sing it out to let it out.
- Pull the energy and emotions off yourself with your hands and wash down the drain in the shower.
- Emotional release or emotional healing meditations on youtube. ( there are so many for any distressing moments)
- Ask my guides, ascended masters, angels to help me (they cant intervene without permission, you know free will).
- One great way to move on from a shit situation, is to ask and look at what it has taught you. What can you take from this experience as a lesson? Forgiveness and appreciation is the ultimate goal.
- Do your tarot/oracle cards get some advice from your guides and ancestors as to what is coming up to release for you.
- Crystals help me a lot I release my energy into them. (bury them after or recharge them in sun/moonlight)
- Grounding to the earth and releasing your energy to be transmuted back to the universe.
- Getting back to the point of origin of the trauma. Releasing from your Akashic records.
We got this.
Be kind to yourself while we learn to actually deal with our emotions instead of eating them away. 🙂